Wednesday, October 15, 2008


i think i have written about friends before, but i thought i would bring it up again. driving back from springfield on tuesday, thinking about the future, a couple of tenants came up again and were refined. it can be boiled down too two rules:

1. friends take effort
2. friends are rarely eternal
(edit: see the awesome redhead's comment) 2a. friends are rarely eternal (bold words seem to imply something

a result of 1. is that friendship is largely based on proximity. this is because proximity and effort is inversely related, as you decrease proximity the amount of effort increases. you can see this as you move from elementary to middle school, middle to high school, etc. and even job to job one often loses touch with many of the friends you counted as being close. 2. is a result rarely of 1. with 'rarely' being a critical word. let me point out an obvious exception: family. i have not had a friend longer than that of my family, with a handful hopefully coming up close behind. and as i've always said, my best friend is and will always be chinh. (edit) there are those friends that seem to stay with you forever. i can call up mr. poon and talk football any day of the week, regardless of how long it has been since we have last talked. i can call up mr. chang any day of the week and talk about anything and nothing for hours , no matter hod long it has been since last we've talked. i met these individuals in college, my little redhead hero (see comment) met her's earlier and later. this is a function of one's maturity (mine has taken longer to develop than my redhead hero's) and is for a separate discussion.

what really brought this up was a statement that came up, 'you can not go home.' this is a very general/vague statement so let me explain through example. i graduated college (again) in 2005 and went back to visit this past weekend. i saw the same buildings (and some new ones) the same students (and some new ones) and the same wonderful university, however i felt out of place. why? because i had already been there, i had already had that unique experience and this was something i cannot go back to. just like i cannot be five years old again.

what does all this mean? you have to continually make new friends (result of 2.) and this will take time and be hard (see 1.). you have to continually work to keep your old friends (again, 1. and 2.). you have to choose a specific group to invest in.

see you in the next city.