Sunday, February 21, 2010

plantains, the better banana

although i cannot take full credit for that wonderful quote, i not only wholeheartedly agree with the statement but i also personally know the individual dispensing such wisdom. i'll give you a hint; we sleep in the same bed (unless i've done something stupid). above quote was given while having lunch at the amazing delicious tortilla cafe in the eastern market, enjoying some life changing pupusas. seriously, these things will change your life. if they don't, you are not alive and that makes you a zombie. we all know what to do with zombies.

in a past life i used to work for a car maker. as you can imagine, given the recent troubles of various car makers, it is probably good that such a statement is in the past tense. however, one of the things i do miss are the auto shows. why? you might ask. well, suffice to say, i believe this cartoon explains it exquisitely. i will let you guess what category i would fall in.

and, finally, i believe there is good and evil. that there is wrong and right, and often the line between the two is as clear as a giant cleft in the earth. continuing the theme of 'kids say the darndest things', i give you the following story. read and think about good and evil, sometimes there isn't as much 'gray area' as we would like to believe. (note: story comes from the beloved cartoon creator of

I don't mean to turn PA into an episode of Kids say the darnedest things but some of you might appreciate this. I was playing Star Wars with my son the other night when he said something funny. Little Gabe is obsessed with Star Wars and so much of our play time involves reenacting the movies. On this particular occasion he was playing the role of the emperor while I was Luke Skywalker. He had seated himself in my computer chair and when he spun around to face me I saw that he had placed a toy Lightsaber on the arm rest. He patted it gently and said "You want this don't you?" I could not help but laugh at how ridiculous the scene was. This bothered him and he told me not to laugh at him because he was the emperor and he was evil. "Yes I know." I told him and tried to get my act together but his little angry eyes underneath the hood of his Mickey Mouse sweatshirt made me laugh even more. "I'm bad." he said and as if to prove it told me "I litter!"

"What?" I asked "What do you mean you litter?" He pushed back his hood and looked at me seriously "Well littering is against the law and the Emperor does all bad things right?" I imagined the Emperor stalking the halls of the Deathstar and munching on a snickers bar. He finishes the last bite and throws the crumpled wrapper over his shoulder. An Imperial Guard bends to snatch it up and the Emperor raises a hand. "Leave it." he croaks. The guard pauses, his red gloved hand shudders as it hovers over the bit of garbage lying there on the Deathstar's polished Durasteel floor. The emperor watches the guard's discomfort with growing satisfaction, a smile creasing his shriveled face. The Guard stands and follows the Emperor away and he can not help but spare a backwards glance at the trash he left behind. With the glance comes a thought, a thought he will never share out-loud but one that shakes him to his very core. "I serve a monster!"

I looked at my son and realized that in his five year old mind there is no gradient to evil. For him, the act of destroying Alderaan and littering are equal. The sort of person who could to one might easily do the other. I smiled at him "Of course he litters son. He litters all the time." He smiled knowingly and I reached out with the force to summon my Lightsaber.

-Gabe out

neat, right? Dear Lord, thank you for Star Wars and the lessons it continues to teach us. i'm off to get some plantains. don't worry, i'll properly dispose of the peels.


Sunday, February 14, 2010

while watching the olympics

make sure your kids are not playing with these dangerous things. or maybe you should? i mean, it couldn't be much worse than spending all your time tracking your mouse, or creating a treemap of some interesting data, or contemplating how mathematical functions are represented in the physical world, instead of going to say... your son's soccer game, or daughter's dance recital. your are not a bad person. horses are bad people.

while you are off being a bad parent, i'm going to listen to songs about MRI's. that's right, i'm going to listen to songs focused on magnetic resonance imaging, you have a problem with that? who cares about your opinion, you horse.


you know, instead of all that, why don't you watch the olympics? here's a little history to get you started.